By 25.
Therapy is a luxury I can not afford, yet. So doing things on impulse to help calm myself when I’m anxious or having a panic attack has become a norm.
Like today, I chopped off all my hair. I sat down on the chopped hair for some time and cried my eyes out.
Less than two weeks ago was the last time I braided my hair, and Iya Jamal did a wonderful job as always. As she braided, I thought of where I’m at now and where I’d like to be by the time I’m 25. 25 is not so far away, and I wasn’t going to write any of the things that crossed my mind as my hair was being braided. But today, as I saw my full hair staring at me from the floor, I realized that the best thing to do is to write those things down. Not just in a journal, but here. It will serve as a reminder when I turn 25.
The main reason I was scared about writing them down was the lingering thought in my head, what if you don’t achieve anything at 25? The truth is, even if I don’t achieve anything, the fact that I put in work will help me bear the pain that’ll come with that. But that is something I won’t be bothered about for now, I’ll just leave it to the universe and hope that it all works out.
So instead of making a long unrealistic list of things I'll want to do by or before 25, here's five that will change the trajectory of the rest of my twenties;
- By 25, I want to have gone back to school to study English language and literary studies in a federal university, preferably unilag.
- I want my career as a writer to have taken on its full form. Getting paid for writing in important magazines and companies.
- I hope that by 25, I'm in my own space.
- I want to have traveled to at least three African countries by 25.
- I want to still be supportive of the people in my corner the way they are to me.
In 2 years and 4 months, I'll be back to let you know the results. Pray with me that our lives actually get easier with each passing day. And if you have goals set out that you want to reach at a specific time, know that you're not alone.
