We do this every year, like a ritual. I have come to terms with enjoying writing end of the year speeches, or essays (as the writer that I am).
This year didn’t start on the right note for me. While everyone else knew what they wanted to do and how they were going to achieve it, I was clueless, lost and totally unsure of what I wanted to do.
I started to try different things along the line, a few of them worked out, a lot of them didn’t work out.
I became rejection’s best friend. The rejection made me doubt myself and my abilities. I got confused about who I was and what I wanted.
Somehow, life smiled on me and I was able to work with two amazing people who helped shape my life in ways I couldn’t have on my own. Working with these people opened me up to more opportunities, and I’ll forever be grateful to them for not saying no to me.
Then came Ouida, my home away from home. I can safely say that I am addicted to Ouida Lagos’ open mic. Thank you for being the place I can unburden myself.
Having good people by your side is very important. They are there with you as you go through happy, sad and in-between days, and you’re there on theirs.
I have good friends, and I made good friends this year.
The dating scene for me this year was the absolute ghetto. I’m not a patient person, and that cost me a lot. Had a lot of talking stages, that part of dating is not even friendly at all, and I do not blame the people who have pdf files of important information for talking stages. But we go again next year, no?
My health was like a light switch this year too, even as I write this, my body is tired. I’m just grateful for strength, and the ability to put in work despite how my body is feeling.
I didn’t capture all the fun I had this year, didn’t capture all the bad days too. I totally blame that on my bad phone (If you’d like to sponsor my new phone, please reach out and help my life).
I learnt to accept this year. It was hard, still is hard, but that does not mean that it cannot be changed. Accepting made me think clearly for better results.
I had to accept that I come from the trenches, and it is okay to come from the trenches. What is not okay is remaining in the trenches. I made at least five steps away from the trenches this year, and i plan to do more next year.
Books have always been my escape plan for when there’s chaos, and I was able to read 70 books this year. I even tried genres I’ve never read before. I’m grateful for books and their authors. Those guys deserve chilled bottles of Amstel malt.
And yes, I read so much partly because of the insane amount of chaos I experienced, and partly because some books were too good not to read.
Towards the end of October, I found myself. The person I have been running away from. Now, I can boldly answer with a smile on my face whenever anyone asks who I am.
I also learnt to receive help. That was tough; talking about my needs and letting people help me, but it felt good. So, this is me shamelessly adding my phone request for the second time to this essay. I need a new phone, to help make my 2023 easier.
I want to live next year. Show the world the stuff I’m made of, and capture the beautiful and not so pretty moments; so please, feel free to invite me out next year, I’ll attend as much events and gatherings as I can.
2022 came with a lot of bad days, but there were really good days, days so good I got scared of being too happy, and I’m grateful for it all.
In 2023, I want to sing and write more, maybe turn them into beautiful video content for the world (read: social media) to see. I am GOOD at these things, and like my friend (who I’m also encouraging to put his art out more) rightly said, I really have to stop keeping it all in.
My girl, Tres, wrote an issue on how to plan for the new year, and it made me less anxious about setting goals.
I hope we all have the 2023 we desire.
Love,
Joy Nnenna Anosike.
AKA: Sekhani.
